Archive for the ‘Cesc Fabregas’ Category

Signed Arsenal home shirt (2008-10)
Personally signed by Cesc Fabregas
Cesc Fabregas is the heartbeat of the current Arsenal side, and a real fans’ favourite. His pace, power and pinpoint passing regularly light up the Emirates as he orchestrates the Gunners’ midfield and attack.

This Arsenal 2008-10 home shirt was personally signed by Cesc in an exclusive signing session organised and carried out by Icons with the Arsenal and Spain midfielder in London on September 24, 2009.

It is the official Nike shirt with the Arsenal logo on the front of the shirt.

The shirt comes in presentation packaging and, for your peace of mind and to protect your investment, comes with an official certificate of authenticity featuring an image of Fabregas signing the shirts.
Buy now Cesc Fabregas Signed Arsenal Home Shirt

Cesc Fabregas Signed Arsenal Photo: Goal at the Emirates

£64.99


This photograph shows Cesc Fabregas celebrating after scoring the winning goal for Arsenal against Manchester City at the Emirates in the Premiership game on August 25, 2007. The Gunners faithful cheer in the background as the Spanish midfielder kneels before them.The photograph is 16" x 12" in size and was personally signed at an exclusive signing session organised and carried out by Icons with Cesc in London on September 24, 2009.This classic image is one of  our... More

Cesc Fabregas Signed Nike Tiempo Legend Football Boot

£179.99


This Nike Tiempo Legend Football Boot is the top of the range model currently worn by Arsenal and Spain's Cesc Fabregas.Fabregas is the heartbeat of the current Arsenal side, and a real fans' favourite. His pace, power and pinpoint passing regularly light up the Emirates as he orchestrates the Gunners' midfield and attack. He is also a key part of Spain's exciting midfield alongside Xavi and Iniesta.The boot was personally signed by Cesc Fabregas at an exclusive signing session... More

Cesc Fabregas Signed Photo - In Action for Arsenal

£64.99


This fantastic portrait shows Cesc Fabregas in action for the Gunners this season. Cesc is the heartbeat of the current Arsenal side, and a real fans' favourite. His pace, power and pinpoint passing regularly light up the Emirates as he orchestrates the Gunners' midfield and attack.The photograph is 16" x 12" in size and was personally signed at an exclusive signing session organised and carried out by Icons with Cesc in London on September 24, 2009.The image is one of... More

Cesc Fabregas Signed Spain Photo - Lifting The Euro 2008 Trophy

£74.99


Cesc Fabregas was an integral part of Spain's victorious Euro 2008 side that beat Germany 1-0 in the final in Vienna. This photo of Cesc lifting the trophy was personally signed by Cesc in an exclusive signing session organised and carried out by Icons with the Arsenal and Spain midfielder in London on September 24, 2009.The photo is one of a limited number that were signed by Fabregas and so are an extremely rare piece of football memorabilia.For your peace of mind and to protect your... More

Cesc Fabregas Signed Spain Shirt (2007-09)

£199.99


Cesc Fabregas was an integral part of Spain's victorious Euro 2008 side that beat Germany 1-0 in the final in Vienna and will be one of the world's most exciting midfield at the World Cup in South Africa, when he lines up alongside the likes of Xavi and Iniesta.This shirt was personally signed by Cesc in an exclusive signing session organised and carried out by Icons with the Arsenal and Spain midfielder in London on September 24, 2009.The shirt is one of a limited number of only 20&... More

Chelsea officially clinched the Premiership on Saturday lunchtime with a crushing 3-0 victory over second placed Manchester United. The Blues only needed a draw to confirm the champions status but William Gallas after five minutes, Joe Cole on 61 and Ricardo Carvalho on 73 sealed victory in style as Jose Mourinho’s side retained their Premiership trophy at 6/5.

Another crucial match in the Premiership was Portsmouth’s victory at Wigan Athletic. As predicted in the Walker’s Word column, Pompey’s win at the JJB Stadium relegated both Birmingham City and West Bromwich Albion in what was a gloomy day for West Midlands football. Henri Camara gave Wigan the lead after 34 minutes, but Benjamin Mwaruwari’s first goal form the club on 63 and Matt Taylor’s second penalty in as many weeks on 71 ensured a 9/5 away win.

Birmingham City could only muster a goalless draw against Newcastle United when only victory could preserve their Premiership status until the final match of the season. The draw was available at 12/5 before kick-off.

Liverpool went level on points with Manchester United after Saturday’s 3-1 win over struggling Aston Villa. Fernando Morientes opened the scoring after four minutes but Gareth Barry levelled on 58. Captain Steven Gerrard netted on 61 and 65 minutes to ensure a 3/10 victory for Rafa Benitez’s side.

Tottenham Hotspur tightened their grip on fourth place with a 1-0 win over Bolton Wanderers. Aaron Lennon struck the decisive goal on the hour for the 7/10 Spurs.

Fulham won their first match away from Craven Cottage with a last gasp goal at Manchester City. Richard Dunne gave City the lead after 69m minutes but Collins John equalised for the Cottagers with six minutes left. Steed Malbranque then fired in a stoppage time winner to secure an unlikely victory at 3/1 odds.

Alan Curbishley’s last match at The Valley as manager of Charlton Athletic ended in defeat as they were beaten 2-0 by 8/5 Blackburn Rovers. Steven Reid broke the deadlock two minutes before the break while a Chris Powell own goal on 65 put Mark Hughes’ side in touching distance of UEFA Cup football.

On Bank Holiday Monday, Arsenal made sure Sunderland went the entire season without a home win with a 3-0 victory at the Stadium of Light. Arsenal, huge 3/10 favourites before kick-off, scored three goals in 14 first half minutes, with a Danny Collins own goal on 28, Cesc Fabregas on 38 and Thierry Henry three minutes before the break.

Manchester United edged one point ahead of Liverpool as they drew 0-0 with Middlesbrough at Old Trafford. United, heavily odds-on before kick-off, saw Ruud van Nistelrooy miss a penalty after 65 minutes and the match ended level at 9/2.

I’ve really enjoyed the festive break. Unlike the majority of my contemporaries, I resisted the temptation to get drunk every night; on Christmas Day, I collapsed at lunchtime.

Frank Lampard is also a fan of the occasional swift one. A Spanish chauffeuse has alleged that the Chelsea man ‘took a while to finish’ as a result of a champagne binge; I just hope his shooting was less erratic than in the Premiership.

A bad week is about to get worse for the chubby midfielder. The champions have been leaking goals since John Terry stole my patented ‘I can’t come to work today, i’ve got a bad back’ line; a Fulham win at the Bridge is simply too big at 20/1.

I refuse to waste money on a breathalyzer kit; I find the ‘how big is the girl i’m considering sleeping with’ test a far more accurate guide to intoxication. I may have been paraletic when I met the wife; but it’s in relative sobriety that I suggest a bet on Tottenham at 7/4 to see off Liverpool.

Losses are like a Spanish driver, you should never chase them after a couple of beers. Newcastle have cost me a small fortune in recent weeks; I’m fighting the temptation to lump on Everton at a beguiling 6/5.

I must congratulate the Toffeemen on the surprise result of the season, a Jose Mourinho apology was trading at 100/1 on the exchanges. It’s pretty much accepted now that Andy Johnson does not go down, a policy I wholeheartedly agree with. AJ can open the scoring at an upstanding 5/1.

The loss of Henri Camara would be a blow under normal circumstances, but when it leaves Emile Heskey leading the line, it’s bordering on a catastrophe. Watford can shock the Latics at 17/10.

I tend to think of myself as a role-model; plenty of women have looked up to me. I like my first goalscorers like I like my women; Young. Ashley can bang in the first goal at an ample 17/2.

I’ve always been a fan of Eskimo culture. I doubt that there’s any truth in the myth that they used to cast out their elderly, but I remain a massive supporter of the concept. Sir Alex officially becomes a pensioner on New Years Eve, three points against Reading at 1/5 will be a welcome gift.

Charlton haven’t found the net in any of their last four meetings with Aston Villa; and that’s when they were half decent. At the time of writing, Charlton were on their third manager of the season; the Villa can ask the Charlton board another question at 13/8.

I’m a definite optimist. If a pint glass is half full of lager, I don’t think of it as half empty; I just pinch it. Alcohol theft is not cool, backing Bolton at evens to beat Pompey undoubtedly is.

Manchester City will struggle to score at Upton Park. Anton Ferdinand will literally have Dickov in his pocket, Samaras looks out of his depth and Vassell only scores against the Villa. The Hammers are nailed on at 5/4.

Blackburn have announced that Robbie Savage has been tied up in a ‘golden handcuffs’ deal. To my deep and sincere regret, that’s only a metaphor. The even money about a Rovers win over Boro will soften the blow.

Would it be overdramatic to claim that Cesc Fabregas is potentially the Premiership’s greatest ever player? It would be if you bellowed it out while frantically waving your arms. You’ll be shrieking like Frank Lampard’s new driver if you miss out on Arsenal at 8/15 at Bramall Lane.

This week’s accer is so easy, it’s going to oblige with or without a bottle of bubbly. Aston Villa, Blackburn, Bolton and Everton are the sure-fire selections, the payout is a sparkling 20/1.

The wife is no stranger to exercise. Somewhat controversially, she now concentrates solely on working her liver; I can see the logic though, it’s occasionally her second largest internal organ.

If the Government told the wife that she could only purchase her beloved Buckfast during January, she would quite rightly revolt; which admittedly, is not a major deviation from the norm.

I find it incredible that Premiership managers are handicapped in such a fashion. It’s almost impossible to do any business in such a small window, although I did manage it once in Amsterdam.

Paradoxically, Martin O’Neill’s transactions have been exceptional. He somehow managed to entice the classy John Carew, and all it cost him was a dud Czech. The Villa are bouncing, they’ll see off the Hammers at 10/11.

A little known FIFA clause allows Frank Lampard to leave Chelsea for a relatively paltry £8m. Frank may have his knockers, but that seems a fair price to me. The champions have too much up top for a struggling Charlton; get on at a well developed 2/5.

Sheffield United win the award for the most surprising transfer. You could have knocked me over with a feather when news broke that they had signed Fathi; who knew that they had a spare £8m. The Blades haven’t won in Blackburn for 20 years; the Rovers are the weekend nap at an ample 8/11.

I believe the children are the future, unless we crack down hard on them now. The appointment of Stuart Pearce to the England Under-21 setup has been met with consternation by the Manchester City board; Reading can take full advantage at 12/5.

Mohammed Al Fayed can’t believe that Reading are above Fulham in the table; he thinks it’s a Royal conspiracy. The Cottagers will triumph over Newcastle at a clandestine 13/10.

Paul Jewell must be sick of the sight of Harry Redknapp; and not just because of the annoying twitch. Wigan have already lost twice to Portsmouth this season, a Pompey treble is in the bag at a knee-jerk 13/8.

I am extremely disappointed with Lua Lua. It wasn’t the fact that he was arrested for an alleged domestic disturbance; I feel let down because he didn’t do a double back flip after striking. I’m doing somersaults about the 7/1 for a 1-0 win to Portsmouth.

Jesus is more than handy with a loaf of bread and a piece of cod, but even He would struggle to keep Watford in the Premiership. Prayers do occasionally get answered though, thank you Al Bangura. Get on Bolton to beat Watford at a sacrilicious 5/4.

Liverpool host neighbours Everton in a tantalising Merseyside derby. The Toffeemen haven’t won at Anfield this millennium; it’ll be the Liverpool fans bragging in the benefit office on Monday morning. The Reds are a steal at 8/13.

Cesc Fabregas is a little magician. As long as he avoids Debbie McGee he’s got a decent future in the game. The 4/5 for an Arsenal win over Middlesbrough is spellbinding.

Tottenham are like Paul McCartney on his wedding night, they have to get over an extremely disappointing second leg. Man U will overwhelm the deflated Spurs at 5/6.

Wayne Rooney has been labeled a tubby Eric Cantona, and there’s more than an element of truth in such a comparison. The next big thing can net the opener at 6/1.

Ever since the departure of Cantona (and to a lesser degree Sheringham), United have struggled for a quality player in the hole. I believe Rooney will prove to be the missing link. I’m going ape about United scoring three or more goals at 11/4.

This week’s accer is so alluring, it reminds me of the wife’s sister; but i’ll get into that later. Liverpool, Aston Villa, Blackburn and Reading are the selections, the payout is a feisty 16/1.

I like to think of myself as a chilled individual. Admittedly, I’m not as laid back as the wife, but that’s a result of her lifestyle.

Being cool, calm and occasionally collected, I’ve been stunned by the overreaction to the minor disagreement during the Carling Cup final. The term ‘handbags’ is an outrageous exaggeration; the wife throws more punches on a Sunday afternoon when I try to dislodge her from the mattress.

The sending off of Adebayor was particularly perplexing. Emmanuel appeared innocent, yet was punished severely; which coincidentally was the plot of the DVD i watched after the match. I’m getting stuck into the 8/15 for an Arsenal win over Reading.

I’m beginning to worry about the wife’s sister. Her infatuation with me is almost certainly a result of deeply rooted psychological problems brought on by low self-esteem. Sweet. I’m not passing up the chance to get on Wigan at 3/1 to beat Manchester City.

The Beatles may have told the world that ‘money can’t but you love’; but Wayne Rooney found the flaw in that romantic fallacy. The word on the street is that Wayne is set to marry Coleen, and the street people are certainly in the loop. I’m romantically involved with the 7/4 about Liverpool denting Manchester United’s title charge.

We all have our little quirks, except for Birds of a Feather. The wife’s sister has a foot fetish; I originally thought she was just pulling my leg. I’m dipping my toes into the 9/4 for a draw between Fulham and Aston Villa.

Unlike the wife’s sister, Middlesbrough have only tasted defeat on one occasion this year. You must back the Boro at 11/4 to win at Newcastle; i’m putting my foot down.

Andy Johnson is never far from a ‘diving’ controversy. The miniature hitman had the finger pointed at him again last week, which was more than enough for him to tumble to the ground. Sheffield United can take a point off the Toffeemen at an unsteady 9/4.

Frank Lampard should feel ashamed of himself for squaring up to little Cesc Fabregas. Lamps could have picked on someone his own size; but in all fairness, Pauline Quirke was rehearsing for a musical. Chelsea can turn over Pompey at a mammoth 3/5.

The last five matches between Bolton and Blackburn have either been goalless or settled by a single strike; this is a genuine clash of the tight-uns. I’m jumping on the 17/2 for ‘no goalscorer’ like it was a Russian tennis player. Preferably not Davydenko.

There’s an air of impending doom surrounding Alan Curbishley and West Ham. They say it’s never over until the lady of a fuller figure breaks into song; ‘Birds of a Feather, the musical’ opens on Sunday evening. Spurs can hammer another nail into the Curb’s coffin at 13/10.

The wife’s mother has asked to proofread my weekly betting preview to ensure that I’m not making any cheap digs at her expense. No matter how much she pleads; she’s not getting her hands on my column. Charlton can keep their survival dreams alive with a win at the Vicarage at 9/5.

Frank Lampard is not happy with this week’s accumulator. Apparently, it’s so mouthwatering; he’s struggling to concentrate on the upcoming ruck with Pauline Quirke. Last week’s accer obliged at 25/1; Arsenal, Charlton, Chelsea and Tottenham will follow suit at a beefy 15/1.

I’m not one of those parents who wrap their children up in cotton wool; I refuse to even pay for pyjamas. I do try my best to keep little Goliath away from television that he may find disturbing though, which normally involves avoiding programmes with Noel Edmonds.

Manchester United’s title winning celebrations at Eastlands caught me completely off-guard. The sight of a topless Rio Ferdinand should have set alarm bells ringing, but as he was next to a bare-chested Ronaldo; all I could think of was grabbing a can of Tango from the fridge.

Before I could reach the kitchen, the camera switched to widescreen to show Wayne Rooney with his hands gently caressing the bottom of his shirt. As Rooney’s intentions became clear, i lurched for the remote control in a desperate yet futile attempt to save Goliath from the grisly spectacle.

The wee man was left traumatised by the ensuing pictures, and he’s visited the sea-life centre on many occasions. Manchester United were in a similar state in ’95 when the Hammers cost United the title; the Red Devils will finally take revenge at 3/5.

Jose Mourinho has rightly apologised for his over-the-top personal attack on Ronaldo. Judging a man as a result of his background is completely out of order; that’s the kind of thing a Frenchman would do. I’m surrendering to the 8/13 for a Chelsea win over Everton.

Reporting a crime to the filth has a certain stigma attached to it, like being seen in public with a Sweaty, but few would argue with Dabo’s decision to tuck up Joey Barton. Michael Ball’s stamp on Ronaldo would suggest that Barton has been a real influence on his team-mates; I’m putting my foot down, get on Spurs at 1/2 to see off Man City.

Charlton may have suffered the ignominy of relegation, but like Arnold Schwarzenegger, they’ll be back, probably harassing women. I’m getting my hands on the 2/5 for a Liverpool win over the Addicks.

I’m not one to point fingers, unless I see an overweight ginger-haired kid with glasses, but Freddie Shepherd should shoulder the blame for Newcastle’s awful season. A draw between the disappointing Watford and Newcastle will come as no surprise at 12/5.

Paris Hilton has found herself looking at a prison sentence, or to use the correct term; she’s gone for a Barton. (It’s heartbreaking when your favourite movie stars let themselves down.) That young lady needs to be scared straight; it would take me just over a minute. I’m currently getting stuck into the 11/10 for a Blackburn win over Reading.

Cesc Fabregas is a quality footballer, but I suspect that he may also lead a secret life as a superhero. Fabman’s noble quest is to mildly annoy tubby midfielders. An Arsenal win over Pompey is the call at an absolutely fabulous 6/4.

I have to take my hat off to Neil Warnock. The Sheffield United manager has only found himself in one touchline ruck this season; that’s a remarkable show of restraint from the combustible northerner. Sheffield United can put the nail in Wigan’s Premiership coffin at a placid 13/10.

Sammy Lee has always been a winner. The Bolton manager once played a starring role in Liverpool’s FA youth cup winning team; but he was 37 at the time. The wife is also a little person, but it doesn’t hold her back; I just put a chair by the sink. There’s nothing small about the 3/1 for an Aston Villa win over Bolton.

I’ll try anything once, except enter a pie-eating contest with Mark Viduka. I must have a go on Middlesbrough at 10/11 against Fulham.

Paris Hilton and I have a lot in common, we’re both reluctant to do a little bird. Aston Villa, Chelsea, Man Utd and Middlesbrough form a weekend accer that I am genuinely excited about; the payout is a salacious 18/1.

Like Martin Luther King and Ghandi, I’m a fan of passive resistance; but there are some things in life that we have to fight for. For me, it’s a baby’s smile, the love of a mute woman or more affordable prices at the petrol pump.

It’s to my deep and lasting regret that a serious injury prevented me from joining the military. I’ve been plagued with recurring back pain since childhood – it’s never easy growing up in Jersey.

Fortunately for the army, Prince Harry was able to stand up and fight for possible Grandmother and Country. His willingness to get his hands dirty shows real character; he’s stuck two fingers up to those who question Germany’s poor war record. Fulham’s recent record is at an equally unhealthy level; they’ve only one won of their last eighteen battles. Blackburn will take no prisoners at 11/20.

Now that the Rambo-like tax-dodger has returned from single-handedly destroying the Taliban, he’ll be looking for an alternative career. Steve Coppell is apparently showing an interest; he appreciates a useless ginger hitman. I’ll fire a few rounds off if Reading sneak a win over Manchester City at 6/4.

Radio chat shows are really scraping the barrel for material. One recent topic up for debate was ‘Why do West Ham fans dislike Frank Lampard’. I wasted 25 minutes trying to get through, and I only wanted to say four words. I’ll be equally succinct in describing the 4/5 for a Tottenham win over West Ham: nap of the week.

Michael Owen may have been written off more than Angus Loughran’s debts, but he remains a top-drawer operator. Newcastle are available at 10/1 against a Liverpool side with one eye on the Champions League; I’m ashamed to say that I’m on the verge of being priced in.

Cesc Fabregas returned to his incomparable best in midweek against Milan. I can’t foresee any scenario where Wigan will be able to stop him, shy of hitting him over the head with a guitar or dropping a grand piano on him; but even then he’d remain instrumental. Arsenal just have to turn up to win at 8/13.

Tim Cahill has been castigated for using a goal celebration to show solidarity with his imprisoned brother. I find the criticism over-the-top, it’s not like he bent over and touched his toes – even I would be offended by the ‘Barton shuffle’. I’ll hit the dancefloor when Everton beat Sunderland at 5/4.

The FA Cup reaches the quarter-final stage this weekend, allowing either West Brom or Bristol Rovers the opportunity to make an unexpected trip to Wembley. Personally, I hope it’s the Albion fans who get to see the bright lights of London, as they consider a trip to Birmingham something of a cultural treat. The Baggies are a fair bet at 6/5.

I hope Sir Alex Ferguson has calmed down after Arsenal’s last-gasp leveller against Aston Villa last week. “It was the 95th minute of their usual seven minutes of injury time,” whined the Scot, before launching a furious tirade at the blackness of a nearby kettle. United fans will be steaming when they knock Pompey out of the Cup at 4/11.

The FA should hang their collective hands in shame after overturning Frank Lampard’s red card against West Ham. I can only assume that they were frightened of Lampard demanding a personal hearing, which would have led to astronomical catering overheads. I’ll happily tuck in to the 4/11 for a Chelsea win over Barnsley.

It appears that Lampard was let off on a technicality – he plays for one of the big four. Jeremie Aliadiere represents Middlesbrough, so he was given a four match ban for replicating the actions of a Liverpool player – he regularly underperformed in the league. Boro will still have enough to ease past Cardiff at 7/10.

Last week’s accer never really got off the ground, but even Shakespeare made the occasional spelling mistake. I’m far more confident with this week’s selections. Reading, Everton, Tottenham and Arsenal form a 14/1 accer of such noble virtue, even Prince Harry would happily go to war to protect it – if there was a camera crew in the vicinity.

On Saturday English Premier League leader Manchester United drew 1-1 during the 35th closing round allowing Chelsea to reduce the gap to only three points.

The points were scored by South American Roque Santa Cruz who opened the scoreboard in the 21st minute and Manchester’s goal came from the Argentinean Carlos Tevez in the 88th minute with a shooting to the net in combination with offensive midfielder Paul Scholes.

But the hero of the day was Chelsea’s goalkeeper Brad Friedel who played an exceptional game stopping some eminent goal shots above all when the visitors were hunting the draw desperately in the second half.

During the 79th minute Friedel stopped Tévez and later on Wayne Rooney as well as the Irish defense John O’Shea (86th) before the goal arrived. Before the 64th minute the Portuguese Cristiano Ronaldo threw a ball against a post. This unexpected result holds back Manchester’s run for the title, which previously seemed to be an easy task for the “Red Devils.”

On Thursday Chelsea won over Everton 0-1 and now had 78 points only three points shy of the current leader. The only goal of the game was that of Ghanaian Michael Essien during the first half of the game at the 41st minute.

On the other hand, Arsenal was left out of the competition for the title after being overrun by Reading 2-0. This game put an end to Arsenal’s five games without winning at the Emirates Stadium.

At last the Londoners managed to offer a victory to their supporters thanks to the good work of the Spaniard Cesc Fábregas who was defending the center of the field as well as Togolese Emmanuel Adebayor and of the Brazilian Gilberto; the ‘Gunners’, third in the general classification are situated seven points behind of the leader.

Liverpool achieved a new victory, this time against Fulham (0-2), with a total of eight points from Everton which is in fifth position in the battle for the title; situation which is not completely obscure as this allows them a pot for the next Champions League edition

Lastly; there is Bolton, which recently won over Middlesbrough 0-1 and was able to take a breath. Meantime, the Derby County continues in bad shape after losing to West Ham 2-1.

This Sunday, Aston Village sixth place of the classification board, sank even further down after losing to Birmingham (5-1), while Newcastle took air after winning 2-0 over Sunderland.

At one time or another, we all make a mistake of gargantuan proportions. When the wife asked for a potential destination for a short trip, I foolishly answered ‘France’. I completely forgot that the place was almost exclusively full of the French.

As soon as we arrived I appreciated the gravity of my error, as the locals made absolutely no effort to speak any English. It appeared that they hadn’t been informed of our arrival.

The language barrier actually led me to be being deported. I popped into a café, but I didn’t fancy eating any strange French food such as ‘frites’ or ‘saucisses’, so I helped myself to a biscuit from behind the counter.

The owner went ballistic and called the police, and I was on the next plane back to England. I still feel embarrassed about being kicked out of Europe thanks to a simple ginger nut. Liverpool fans share my pain, they should console themselves with the 7/4 for a win over Birmingham.

The police were on the ball over there though, unlike their English counterparts. When a French person is reported missing, their filth launch an immediate search; but the Manchester police haven’t even begun their hunt to find poor Wayne. United are winless (and goalless) on their last six visits to Stamford Bridge, I’ll struggle to find a better bet than Chelsea at 6/4.

The North East of England is the one place on Earth that’s actually worse than France. The locals are equally as undecipherable, and they take up twice the room. 15/8 is absolutely massive for a Newcastle win over West Ham.

The North East does have its redeeming features; it remains a Redknapp-free area. Harry’s decision to stay in Portsmouth was warmly received by the Geordie Nation, as it decreased the probability of them ever bumping into Jamie. I’m particularly thankful for the 23/10 for a draw between Portsmouth and Blackburn.

Newcastle have taken a lead in the North East mini-league, which is a little bit like leading a race at the Special Olympics. Sunderland will beat Boro at 13/10 in the battle for the silver medal, but they’re all winners really.

There’s a real scrap going on at the bottom of the table, and Fulham are almost certainly relegated. The chairman will most likely blame Prince Philip, MI5 and possibly MFI. I’ve put together 9/10 for a Manchester City win over the doomed Cottagers.

Bolton have all the momentum in the relegation battle, but they won’t receive any favours away at Tottenham. I expect the 10/11 for a Tottenham win to last about as long as a Geordie in a beauty contest.

Graeme Murty should hang his head in shame after his dying swan act led to a three match ban for Alexander Hleb. Simulation is the unacceptable face of modern day football, alongside Steve Bruce. Wigan v Reading won’t be pleasing to the eye, a draw looks the correct call at 12/5.

If I was Robbie Savage, and I’m not (I’m quite good at football); I’d ask for Cesc Fabregas’ shirt after Derby’s ‘match’ against Arsenal. Such an item of memorabilia could potentially raise a tidy sum for when he upgrades his caravan. The 4/5 for Arsenal to beat Derby by two goals or more is remaining remarkably steady.

I genuinely feel that Aston Villa will be right behind Arsenal at the top of the table next season – certainly in early August. The Villans are on fire in their quest to make it into Europe; they’ll eat up and spit out the Toffeemen at 23/10.

To say I was happy about last week’s winning accer is an understatement; I felt like a Chelsea player after they practically booked their flight to Moscow. When Liverpool, Manchester City, Tottenham and Arsenal oblige for this week’s 10/1 accer, I’ll be happier than Ashley Cole after an invite into the cockpit.